Another Vigil

Another Vigil

I don’t want to go to another 
L.G.B.T.Q. vigil
Not another death
Not another one

You were a small child once
Precocious, quietly dreaming up
David Bowie colored worlds

I am tired 
of the candle lights, the banners, the speeches
another politician who is outraged
Again.

You were a vegan
decided that you wanted to adopt two kitties
with no equilibrium
their soft fur and silly way of holding their heads up
made you giggle

I am tired of the latest hate crime legislation
that will only increase the prison industrial complex
but won’t address the sleeping giant in our living rooms
Hate
fed intravenously to us by Fox news, CNN and NBC
a healthy dose of transphobia with your morning cereal

You loved punk rock and 
the small mom and pop shop on St. Marks Place
the only genuine store left in this ever gentrifying city
I grow tired of the headlines
Another “Gay Suicide"
my eyes are heavy
I believe my words will save no one.

You made sure that every week society’s outcasts
those forgotten because of their disabilities came into our beige office,
their hands diligently stuffing thousands of white envelopes
I suspect that you could see what we couldn't 
they needed to feel just as valuable as we do in our cubicles.

You were in pain most of the time
the MS sequestering you
to your Brooklyn apartment
most of your weekends were spent alone 
playing video games


I wonder if the weight of the loneliness 
was heavier
then the weight of the pain.

Because I have no more words
let this pen and ink speak your name
Julian.

-C. Izaguirre 2010